But Jesus, I really like luke.

But Jesus, I really like Luke.

My life was going great. Or so I thought.

 I was enrolled in a photography school where was excelling, I was working my butt off at four different jobs. But I was totally okay with that because "you gotta work hard for your dreams" I'd tell myself when my 4:45am alarm would go off. I was blessed with really awesome friends, and I had a wonderful family. Life was good. 

Then He came along. I had known him all my life. My entire family loved him. I loved him. But he wasn't content with our relationship being the way it was.  

He wanted more. 

I wasn't so sure.  

He began this all out pursuit of me anyways. Inviting me to spend time with him. To talk with him. I'd spend time with him when it was convenient for me, but I was was working four jobs after all, spare time was something I didn't really have. So I'd squeeze him in here and there.

 He began to romance me. He kept up the pursuit. Instead of begining to slack off, he actually stepped it up. But I knew what he wanted, and I wasn't ready to give that to him. I was comfortable. I was busy enough to get through the days without much thought of this pursuit of my heart. But in those quiet moments before drifting off to sleep, I couldn't avoid thinking about it.

Jesus was pursuing me. 

He wanted my whole heart.

 He wanted my EVERYTHING.

 But that was really scary. That would require giving up my control.

 I grew up in the church, in a loving christian home. I really did love Jesus. I really did want him to guide me… as long as it was in the general direction I was heading anyways, with an extra blessing or two thrown in there.  

I was lukewarm. And I was okay with that. 

But I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more.

I was here, and Jesus was over there. On the other side of my comfortable. On the other side of this lukewarm spirit that I had allowed myself to slip into. 

He was there, beaconing me to come to him. 

I loved Jesus.

 But I wasn't In love with him. 

And I learned that there was a BIG difference in the two. 

So I gave him my heart. All of it. It didn't happen over night, and its still something that I have to be disciplined in daily. But I am SO glad that I did. He began this new work in me. It was uncomfortable, awkward and down right painful sometimes. But its one of the best things I have ever done in my life.

I am so beyond thankful for Jesus' relentless pursuit of me. I am so humbled and grateful for his abounding, steadfast, fulfilling love. I am so thankful he pulled me out of the funk of "lukewarm-ness" Because let me tell you, there is SO MUCH LIFE waiting for you at the other side of this! We were created to do miraculous, inspiring things in this life! We were created to be fully fulfilled, fully satisfied, radical, loving lives, through Jesus Christ. Reject the lie that this lukewarm spirit is ok! It is soooo not okay!  

"So because you are lukewarm -  neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth"

-Jesus (Revelation 3:16)

Are you in love with Jesus?

I mean passionate, adventurous, soul quenching, spirit over-flowing love.

 Or do you find yourself on the other side of things with this thing called lukewarm plaguing you? 

Seriously, examine your hearts. 

Because this is a big deal.

 Reject the lie that says that its not. 

Thats not from God. 

Here are 17 signs that you are lukewarm. 

- from Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love" (read it) - 

1. Lukewarm people attend church fairly regularly. It is what is expected of them, what they believe “good Christians” do, so they go. Isaiah 29:13

2. Lukewarm people give money to charity and to the church as long as it doesn’t impinge on their standard of living. If they have a little extra and it is easy and safe to give, they do so, After all, God loves a cheerful giver, right? 1 Chronicles 21:24, Luke 21:1-4

3. Lukewarm people tend to choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict. They desire to fit in both at church and outside of church; they care more about what people think of their actions (like church attendance and giving) than what God thinks of their hearts and lives. Luke 6:26, Revelation 3:1, Matthew 23:5-7 4.

4: Lukewarm people don’t really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin. They don’t genuinely hate sin and aren’t truly sorry for it; they’re merely sorry because God is going to punish them. Lukewarm people don’t really believe that this new life Jesus offers is better than the old sinful one. John 10:10, Romans 6:1-2.

5. Lukewarm people are moved by stories of people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act. They assume such action is for “extreme” Christians, not average ones. Lukewarm people call “radical” what Jesus expected of all His followers. James 1:22, James 4:17, Matthew 21:28-31

6. Lukewarm people rarely share their faith with their neighbors, coworkers, or friends. They do not want to be rejected, nor do they want to make people uncomfortable by talking about private issues like religion. Matthew 10:32-33

7. Lukewarm people gauge their morality or “goodness” by comparing themselves to the secular world. They feel satisfied that while they aren’t as hard-core for Jesus as so-and-so, they are nowhere as horrible as the guy down the street. Luke 18:11-12

8. Lukewarm people say they love Jesus, and He is, indeed, a part of their lives, their money, and their thoughts, but he isn’t allowed to control their lives. Luke 9:57-62

9. Lukewarm people love God, but they do not love Him all their heart, soul, and strength. They would be quick to assure you they try to love God that much, but that sort of total devotion isn’t really possible for the average person; its only for pastors and missionaries and radicals. Matthew 22:37-38

10. Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love for others is typically focused on those who love them in return, like family, friends, and other people they know and connect with. There is a little love left over for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them, who kids are better athletes than theirs, or with whom conversations are awkward or uncomfortable. Their love is highly conditional and very selective, and generally comes with strings attached. Matthew 5:43-47, Luke 14:12-14

11. Lukewarm people will serve God and others, but there are limits to how far they will go or how much time, money, and energy they are willing to give. Luke 18:21-25

12. Lukewarm people think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven. Daily life is mostly focused on today’s to-do list, this week’s schedule, and next month’s vacation. Rarely, if ever do they intently consider the life to come. Philippians 3:18-20

13. Lukewarm people are thankful for their luxuries and comforts, and rarely consider trying to give as much as possible to the poor. Matthew 25:34, 40, Isaiah 58:6-7

14. Lukewarm people do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling too guilty. They want to do the bare minimum, to be “good enough” without requiring too much of them. 1 Chronicles 29:14, Matthew 13:44-46

15. Lukewarm people are continually concerned with playing it safe; they are slaves to the god of control. This focus on safe living keeps them sacrificing and risking for God. Matthew 10:28

16. Lukewarm people feel secure because they attend church, made a profession of faith at age twelve, were baptized, come from a Christian family, vote Republican, or live in America.

17. Luke warm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to. They don’t have to trust God if something unexpected happens-they have their savings account. They don’t need God to help them—they have their retirement plan in place. They don’t genuinely seek out what life God would have them live—they have life figured and mapped out. They don’t depend on God on a daily basis-their refrigerators are full and, for the most part, they are in good health. The truth is, their lives wouldn’t look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God. Luke 12:16-21

18. Lukewarm people probably drink and swear less than average, but besides that, they really aren’t very different from your typical unbeliever. They equate their partially sanitized lives with holiness, but they couldn’t be more wrong. Matthew 23:25-28, Luke 14:34-35

                                              Are you lukewarm?

Swazi Goodbyes

Swazi Goodbyes

These sweet, precious children.

They play with my hair.

they climb up on my lap.

They squeeze my neck tight in a hug.

They stare deep into my eyes, and touch my cheek with their fingers.

They'll run around and play. Or they'll sit and snuggle with me for hours at a time.

They get all shy when you praise them for the good job they did coloring, then beam a smile that makes you wonder if they've ever been praised for anything in their entire lives...

They sing to me.

They hold my hands.

They snuggle in close.

But then the time comes. The time to say goodbye...

It hits me like a brick wall. I may never see this sweet child ever again. My heart grows heavy. Maybe a little angry

One day stands out in particular. We were visiting a certain carepoint, for only this one time. There was a little girl there. Probably around the age of five. I watched her walk up. Holding a bucket more than half her size, up upon her head.

She was more shy then most. Maybe that's why it surprised me when she edged ever so closer to me. A longing for love in her eyes. I took my time, making sure that she felt comfortable. But when the moment came, I swept her up into my lap.

She clung onto me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. Not saying a word. I held her tight. For how long, I really don't know. But it wasn't long enough. Then that time came again. We got our warning. We'd be heading out in five minutes.

It's then that I began that semi angry prayer.

Father, I don't want to leave her. I don't want to set her down, only to drive away, never to return to her again...

who is going to hold her then?

-I will, daughter.

Who will care for her, in the dark of the night??

-I will not leave her, for I am always with her.

Who will love her???

-daughter, I have loved her with an everlasting love...I knew her before she was formed in her mothers womb. I know her both coming and going. I have plans to prosper her, hope for her future... Don't you see, today I used you. To hold her, to love her. Now from this day on, she will be in your heart, in your prayers. Though you are leaving, I will be here, with her, all the days of her precious life.

It's those words, that Jesus spoke to my heart, that gave me the strength to say goodbye. Because although I wish I could hold her in my arms, every day from now on, right now, God has other plans for us both. I will trust that he will provide for her. That she will learn in depth of his love for her. That she will grow up, and receive an education, he will provide food, and water. To be cared for by someone who loves her. He will provide protection and that she will go on to serve Jesus.

I will trust that I'm not only saying goodbye. But instead, see you later! Because we will spend eternity together, in the presence of our King.