To all the Wild and Free

To All The Wild and Free

I was riding passenger,  making my second pb&j of the day, flying southward down I-75. My eyes wandered up to the darkness that covered the earth, and the little red dots of brake lights all along the inerstate ahead of us. My mind drifted back to just a few hours before, as the sun was setting to my right, and I thought to myself the ways the Florida landscape reminded me of Africa. 

Sweet, sweet Africa. The soles of my feet first hit you at nineteen years of age. But I had dreamed of going since I was just a little girl. At twenty, I hadn't gotten enough, and I returned to you again.  Then once more, less then a month after my twenty-first birthday, I spent the spring living out in the bush of Swaziland. 

I'm not exactly sure when it happened,  but now, it stares me right back into my brown eyes every time I see my reflection. 

Freedom.

Wildness.

In the purest of forms. 

As my papa awakened my heart, my soul became fully alive, and new life sparkled, bursting fourth like the rising sun. But these things took place after action. Days of falling facedown in the presence of Jesus. Surrendering all at his feet. Deep sacrifice, and surrendered expectations. I had big dreams, I had deep desires, and I gave every last one to my King. 

He taught me how to remain in his love. He showed me the ways I was striving for things that were already mine., things already given to me. He brought to life the woman I was always meant to be. A woman of freedom.  A woman of wildness.  A kingdom gypsy. 

Now traveling, and adventures are among my favorite ways to spend time with abba. I consider road trips to be a close friend. 

It's in these times I feel his love for me.

It's in these times I feel his delight over me. 

It's in these times I feel fully alive. 

Sure, maybe my body is exhausted, I smell, my hair is a mess, and my lips are chapped. But my soul is so alive and thriving.

There's something beatiful he created in us, this rare bread of humankind. We've tasted the thrill, rush, and excitement of this life of freedom. Lost in wild abandonment. 

I feel him in the power of the waves, as I'm overtaken in the Indian Ocean. 

I see him in the toothless grin of a man living in the slums. 

I hear him in the songbirds of the rainforest. 

But at the end of it all,  conquering a mountain, and crossing into south Africa is not all there is. 

Swimming with sharks and sting rays won't fully satisfy me. 

Jumping off cliffs won't fulfill my innermost being. 

Because, Jesus himself is my crazy, wild, and free.

Losing myself in his look of love for me is my song. His voice speaking tenderly over me is my melody.  I'm running faster, flying higher then ever before, never looking back. The only place I desire to go, and the only place I dream of going is deeper into his heart.

Let us not ever forget, great ones, that intimacy with our beloved creator, King, and friend is the greatest adventure anyone could ever dream up, ask for, or imagine. 

Throw back Thursday! Swaziland March 1st 2014

March 1st, 2014

Hello friends!

It's March already?! Total craziness. It's so strange. Life here is so slow paced, yet my time here is flying by! Before I know it I'll be boarding a plane, headed back to the states. I try to savor every moment I have here. Treating it like the precious gift that it is.

First off, I am so beyond thankful for Jesus. For his relentless pursuit of me. For his never ending, unfailing love. That he choses to use me. Me?! Because he certainly doesn't need to...his glory is proclaimed in the stars every night, in the surrounding mountains. Yet, he choses to put the dream of Africa in a young girls heart at the age of eleven years old. Giving her this unspeakable passion for his precious orphans there. Then he brings me here. I will be forever grateful.

On Monday this past week, the day was an amazing adventure from the moment I woke up. We all packed onto the bus and took the three hour drive into South Africa. We spent the better half of the day at one of the most incredible beaches I've ever been to in my life. St. Lucia, South Africa. It was like a dream. Never mind all the warnings of hippos, sharks, and crocodiles. I was getting in those huge waves of the Indian Ocean!

 It was beyond amazing. I was laughing so extremely hard from the pure joy of it all. Jesus made me feel like I was a little girl, splashing around in the waves with him...I'm pretty sure heaven will have a place like that there. I prayed that it will anyways. "To him who is able to do more than we could ever ask of imagine" and "He stores up good for those who love him" were two Bible verses that were on my mind all day long. Because that's exactly how I felt about that day. It was better than everything I ever could have imagined.

On Tuesday we started ministry back up here in Nsoko. Aka, the middle of no where, literally the bush of Africa. It felt like we had come home. :) My ministry team of myself and three others, were told to wake up especially early, and to be ready to go out into the fields to help harvest. Harvest what, we had no idea... Early Tuesday morning came and gone, and no one had arrived to pick us up...three hours later we found out that the harvesting had already been completed, and that they didn't need us anymore. Welcome to Africa. :)

Skipping ahead to Friday, it was such an extraordinary great day. From the moment I woke up. The sun was shining, as it does every morning beginning at around 4am, and I just got to spend some amazing time with Jesus, before most of the rest of the house was awake. I even had a cup of coffee, and washed my hair! What more could a girl ask for?!

Later that morning we headed out to a care point that was new for us. The kids were all preschool aged, so we got to spend lots of time just hanging out and being with them. Loving on them, praying over them. But then, this adorable beyond words little girl, about one year old caught my attention. She was young. Really young. Usually if there are babies around that young they belong to the gogo's. But after some researching I found out that she wasn't a daughter of a Gogo, but instead came with one of the other kids there. But the oldest kid there that morning couldn't have been over the age of six...a lot of these children walk miles and miles to get to these care points. For what may be their only meal that day. At two year olds?

She was so dirty. Dried and crusty snot was all under her nose, and lots of other unknown dirty spots splashed across her face. She had so much dirt layered on her tiny hands. She wore nothing more than a raggedy tee shirt, that wouldn't be fit enough for a baby doll back in the states. I took out my water bottle and washed her face, then her hands. She had so much dirt on them, that it was like her hands were completely covered in red clay mud. I cleaned out her nails, best I could, and fixed some braids in the hair. 

But what do you do after that? I still have no idea who cares for her, who makes sure that she gets fed, and bathed, and protected...who will hold her when she crys, or any of the number of other things a one year old baby girl needs...But God knows, and he loves that baby girl. He has a good plan for her life. So I pour out prayers for her. Wouldn't you please join me? Because the truth is, her story isn't all that different from a multitude of others that I see and hear about every. Single. Day here... After holding her for awhile her eyes starting getting droopy, so I rocked her to sleep. Because today, God had provided me to love her, to care for her, to snuggle her tight for a while while she slept...

We are currently back in our routine of visiting three care points, three times of going out to spend time visiting gogo's, and three work projects per week. But don't for a second think that anything is remotely the same old, same old. Everyday is a new adventure, and anything can happen. It's different every time we go on a home visit, every time we go to a care point, and pretty much every work project. Add in the excitement of chickens in our kitchen, almost being caught directly in a stampede of donkeys (thanks Garrett), or the consistent interruptions of little Timbaleaka, aka "no pants Nancy".

Life here gets a little crazy sometimes. Like worshiping out under the vast blanket of Swazi stars, up on the containers in our back yard. (now that I think about it, just getting up on the containers is a little crazy in of itself). Or playing night kick ball, with nothing but the light of our headlamps. Watching Snele, our ministry partner,  get out of the vehicle and making the cows get off of the road (you don't wanna know his method). Then, you can just go outside and watch Garrett chase some goats...I feel like there are so many more crazy things that happen all around me, all the time, but honestly, I've just come to accept them as my new everyday life.

I am so blessed. Thank for again for all of your prayers. I wouldn't be where I am without them. God is good. I love you all!

Love your Swazi girl, Brookie.

P.s. Happy, happy, happy birthday to the two best men in my life. My daddy, and my little brother. Have some ice cream for me! I love you both! :)

Rise up Warriors - There's a War to fight

 Rise up Warriors - There's a war to fight!

"be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm."  -Ephesians 6"10-18 ESV

I have walked the streets of a third world, african country. As one of very few white girls among them, I stick out like a sore thumb. I felt the hot stares of bitter, angry and desperate men. 

I've heard the screams of a demon possessed women, as the name of Jesus was preached in Uganda.

I've looked into the eyes of young men, homeless and hopeless on the streets of Nicaragua, as they explained that sniffing glue was the only way to make their hunger pains go away. 

I've walked outside of the airport to see camouflaged men, holding AK-47's.

I have sat and listened to the painful cries of young American girls, as they tell me of the pain so great within them that they want to hurts themselves. I sit and listen, and I wanna scream at satan to stay away from my girls.

I watch as our young men live in the bondage of lust and pornography. 

I've held countless children, abandoned and alone. They have to one to take care of them. No one to love them. 

I've sat and listened to the heart wrecking story of how a widow lost all of her children to HIV/AIDS. 

The stories go on and on.

I have forever been wrecked for the comfortable, american lifestyle.

I have been called to fight.

To fight for those who have yet meet Jesus as Savior. For the weak, The hurting, the brokenhearted. 

To fight as a mighty warrior of Christ Jesus.

We are in a war, whether you chose to acknowledge it, or not. Since the moment you took your first breath, there has been a war over your soul.

"Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." -1st Peter 5:8

Last fall, I went out for a run. alone in the woods, along a two track road. It was there that the Lord spoke very clearly to me that: 

“The gates of hell will know your name.

 You’re going to be a warrior for my Kingdom,

And you’re going to be a serious threat to the domain of darkness”.

I was pumped! Put me in the game coach, Lets go!

 Later, the weight of this new calling hit me. “Holy shit. what just happened?!” 

I’m just this young girl. I struggle with fear. I struggle with weakness.  

“Um, are you sure you have the right girl here, God?” 

I called my friend, and told him everything that just happened.

 I was freaking out.

 He just laughed at me.

 then starting pouring into me sweet words of life, and words from the lord, on what being a warrior looked like for me.  

Lemme tell you. It looked vastly different then how I thought it was suppose to look.

I WAS JUST SUPPOSE TO LOVE.

 TO LOVE WITH THE SUPERNATURAL, UNEXPLAINABLE LOVE OF JESUS.

“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:10-11 

He’s calling you. He’s raising you up. Why were you placed in this earth, in the very place you find yourself today? Why were you blessed and given the resources that you have? Why do you have the gifting’s that you do? 

What does being a warrior for the Kingdom look like for your life?

Because, You are a Warrior, beloved. 

You carry the power and authority of Jesus Christ the Lord God almighty himself within you! 

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Let us be done with lazy, self absorbed Christianity.

 May we rise up, and claim souls in the name of Jesus.

Let’s do this thang.

Swazi Goodbyes

Swazi Goodbyes

These sweet, precious children.

They play with my hair.

they climb up on my lap.

They squeeze my neck tight in a hug.

They stare deep into my eyes, and touch my cheek with their fingers.

They'll run around and play. Or they'll sit and snuggle with me for hours at a time.

They get all shy when you praise them for the good job they did coloring, then beam a smile that makes you wonder if they've ever been praised for anything in their entire lives...

They sing to me.

They hold my hands.

They snuggle in close.

But then the time comes. The time to say goodbye...

It hits me like a brick wall. I may never see this sweet child ever again. My heart grows heavy. Maybe a little angry

One day stands out in particular. We were visiting a certain carepoint, for only this one time. There was a little girl there. Probably around the age of five. I watched her walk up. Holding a bucket more than half her size, up upon her head.

She was more shy then most. Maybe that's why it surprised me when she edged ever so closer to me. A longing for love in her eyes. I took my time, making sure that she felt comfortable. But when the moment came, I swept her up into my lap.

She clung onto me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. Not saying a word. I held her tight. For how long, I really don't know. But it wasn't long enough. Then that time came again. We got our warning. We'd be heading out in five minutes.

It's then that I began that semi angry prayer.

Father, I don't want to leave her. I don't want to set her down, only to drive away, never to return to her again...

who is going to hold her then?

-I will, daughter.

Who will care for her, in the dark of the night??

-I will not leave her, for I am always with her.

Who will love her???

-daughter, I have loved her with an everlasting love...I knew her before she was formed in her mothers womb. I know her both coming and going. I have plans to prosper her, hope for her future... Don't you see, today I used you. To hold her, to love her. Now from this day on, she will be in your heart, in your prayers. Though you are leaving, I will be here, with her, all the days of her precious life.

It's those words, that Jesus spoke to my heart, that gave me the strength to say goodbye. Because although I wish I could hold her in my arms, every day from now on, right now, God has other plans for us both. I will trust that he will provide for her. That she will learn in depth of his love for her. That she will grow up, and receive an education, he will provide food, and water. To be cared for by someone who loves her. He will provide protection and that she will go on to serve Jesus.

I will trust that I'm not only saying goodbye. But instead, see you later! Because we will spend eternity together, in the presence of our King.