All The Single Ladies, All The Single Ladies.

All the single ladies, all the single ladies. 

{for the love of being single}.

I see you. I see you as you flip through your newsfeed, and sigh as yet another one of your friends is engaged. Yet another one of your married friends are having a baby. I feel your pain, I share in your longing. I understand the desires of your heart. Those dreams, deep inside of the most vulnerable parts of your soul.Those holy, pure and beautiful dreams. 

I hear your cry, in the dead of night, when you can't fight them any longer, and the emptiness of your bed is more then you can take. I know those angry and confused prayers that you finally break down and pray. I know the frustration. I know the feelings of rejection that comes and attack your identity. I know the hopelessness that sneaks in. I know the lies you hear. I know the insecurities that gnaw at you. Is there decent good men left out there? Let alone a righteous man of God. 

I know, because I'm right there beside you. Fighting the same fight. 

In a moment of hot, angry tears, fresh heartbreak, and major frustration. The elephant in the room came in the form of my unanswered question, and it just seemed to hang there. I wasn’t so sure I wanted the answer anyhow. Yet still, my heart asked for me.

“God, Why am I single?” 

So began my beautiful, eye opening journey of learning heavens perspective. 

Maybe the reason you are single is not because you’re “not pretty enough”. Maybe it’s not because you are “too much”. Maybe the reason you are single is not because you’re “fat”. Maybe it’s not because of any of the things you thought.

What if you find yourself single in this season of life because everything about you is amazing?

What if you are single right now because you have been called into glorious purpose?

What if the Lord is giving you this precious gift of time and freedom?

What if the King of kings set you apart for such a time as this?

What if there is something distinct about this season of singleness that the Lord is calling you into?

What if singleness is a vocation given by God, to be cherished, enjoyed, and to be faithful with?

What if singleness is a gift after all?

"If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11:13

How Dare You

“You don’t know the Lord intimately”. 

A lie I had heard repeated over and over again in my heart the past two weeks. They so perfectly aligned with what I was struggling through in this new season. This time of getting to know a new side of the fathers heart. A new side of his face. But I didn’t yet know this new part of his heart yet, and sometimes I struggled feeling as though I don’t know him at all anymore. Confession: Sometimes I still struggle.

“How dare you think you can led others into a life of intimacy with the father, when you don’t even know him yourself”.

Another lie, that felt like a twisted knife, dodging into the deepest places of my heart. I first realized the wording of these lies when I was snuggled up on my couch, spending my last few minutes before leaving for work, just sitting with the Father. 

“You don’t”   

“how dare you”.

That was someone accusing me, and that certainly wasn’t the voice of my papa. My warrior spirit kicked in, and I counter attacked these lies with truth.

“How dare YOU come at me, a daughter of the King, with those ratchet lies! I do know my father intimately, and he knows me!”

It’s then I felt my father, drawing me up into his strong arms. Welcoming me to rest my head upon his chest, so I could hear his heartbeat. I could feel him playing with my hair, as he spoke over me “I love you… I love you…I love you…I love you”. Over and over and over again. The steady rhythm filling me with strength. 

A few days later, as I sit sharing this story with my roommate, a grand revelation comes over me. “I love you” was his heart beat! He is love. His heartbeat is love, and it oozes out love for us, his beloved children!!!!! How blessed are we, when we draw near to him, and receive this great and glorious gift of love! Draw near to hear the unique beat of his heart pounding out ‘I love you…I love you…I love you’ just for you.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1st John 3:1 

To all the Wild and Free

To All The Wild and Free

I was riding passenger,  making my second pb&j of the day, flying southward down I-75. My eyes wandered up to the darkness that covered the earth, and the little red dots of brake lights all along the inerstate ahead of us. My mind drifted back to just a few hours before, as the sun was setting to my right, and I thought to myself the ways the Florida landscape reminded me of Africa. 

Sweet, sweet Africa. The soles of my feet first hit you at nineteen years of age. But I had dreamed of going since I was just a little girl. At twenty, I hadn't gotten enough, and I returned to you again.  Then once more, less then a month after my twenty-first birthday, I spent the spring living out in the bush of Swaziland. 

I'm not exactly sure when it happened,  but now, it stares me right back into my brown eyes every time I see my reflection. 

Freedom.

Wildness.

In the purest of forms. 

As my papa awakened my heart, my soul became fully alive, and new life sparkled, bursting fourth like the rising sun. But these things took place after action. Days of falling facedown in the presence of Jesus. Surrendering all at his feet. Deep sacrifice, and surrendered expectations. I had big dreams, I had deep desires, and I gave every last one to my King. 

He taught me how to remain in his love. He showed me the ways I was striving for things that were already mine., things already given to me. He brought to life the woman I was always meant to be. A woman of freedom.  A woman of wildness.  A kingdom gypsy. 

Now traveling, and adventures are among my favorite ways to spend time with abba. I consider road trips to be a close friend. 

It's in these times I feel his love for me.

It's in these times I feel his delight over me. 

It's in these times I feel fully alive. 

Sure, maybe my body is exhausted, I smell, my hair is a mess, and my lips are chapped. But my soul is so alive and thriving.

There's something beatiful he created in us, this rare bread of humankind. We've tasted the thrill, rush, and excitement of this life of freedom. Lost in wild abandonment. 

I feel him in the power of the waves, as I'm overtaken in the Indian Ocean. 

I see him in the toothless grin of a man living in the slums. 

I hear him in the songbirds of the rainforest. 

But at the end of it all,  conquering a mountain, and crossing into south Africa is not all there is. 

Swimming with sharks and sting rays won't fully satisfy me. 

Jumping off cliffs won't fulfill my innermost being. 

Because, Jesus himself is my crazy, wild, and free.

Losing myself in his look of love for me is my song. His voice speaking tenderly over me is my melody.  I'm running faster, flying higher then ever before, never looking back. The only place I desire to go, and the only place I dream of going is deeper into his heart.

Let us not ever forget, great ones, that intimacy with our beloved creator, King, and friend is the greatest adventure anyone could ever dream up, ask for, or imagine. 

In the woods with daddy.

In the woods with daddy.

The past couple of days, I have had the pure honor of sitting in on teachings from a Strong and mighty warrior of the Lord. It’s in these talks that the Lord used him to wreck my world, and my view point of fear.

FEAR.

Isn’t that something, if we were completely honest, we would have to admit we all struggle with? There are all kinds of fear, and it comes in may forms. The fear of man, (aka, what other people think of me). The fear of failure, the fear of jumping off that cliff and into the unknown, on and on it can go.

But you know what? Fear is nothing but a filthy liar! As a daughter of the King of heaven, fear is not mine to pick up. “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”. 2nd Timothy 1:7. Fear is a weapon that the enemy loves to use against us. It causes us to stand still, to take a step back from fighting in the spiritual realms. It puts us in a position of handing control over to him. 

I grew up with the most incredible dad, who just happens to love hunting. I’ve spent countless hours in hunting blinds with him, out in the thick of the northern Michigan woods. When you deer hunt, you wait until after the world has fallen dark to leave the blind, taking the trek back to the car. My dad has no fear of the dark woods. None. 

As a little girl, this spoke volumes to me. As long as I was with him in those dark places, I wasn’t afraid either. He was right there by my side, holding my hand, guiding me in the right direction. I had confidence in him, that even if we were to get attacked by a bear, my dad had a weapon at his side, and he knew how to use it. He wasn’t about to let anything happen to me.

When Christ was resurrected from the grave, he conquered death, and plundered the gates of hell, stripping it of all it’s weapons.

Colossians 2:15 says “In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities (of their power). He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross”. (NLT) Another version says that Jesus “stripped the principalities and the powers”. 

Last night, I was awoken at 3am, and fear threatened to surround me. I knew that this was a turning point. I had the choice to stand my ground and fight this, putting into action all of these notes and wisdom I’ve been taught this last week, or I could give in to the enemy and his lies, allowing myself to be held captive under the lie of fear.

I cried out to the Lord for his strength, and he brought to my heart all of those times I was out in the dark woods with my dad. Abba wasn’t afraid. He told me that I was a big girl, and even though he wasn’t holding my hand, I had to rely on him in faith. Although I couldn’t “feel him” he stood right there next to me, he was within me. 

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you”. James 4:7 Fear now becomes our weapon to use against the enemy, Scripture promises are our sword.

This is my declaration, and I invite you to join me in this, that I will no longer allow the enemy to use the lie of fear over me. He who is in me is stronger than him who is in this world, and it is not me who should be afraid, but him! I have been given the brave and courageous spirit of a warrior. He has given me his complete armor (Ephesians 6:10-18) and I will choose to put on and clothe myself in his truths. 

Lead Me To The Cross

Lead Me To The Cross.

Something had changed. Things were different. What? I didn’t know, I couldn’t figure it out.

All I knew was that I couldn’t feel him anymore. 

I was struggling to hear him. 

I was struggling to find words to pray. 

It felt as though he had turned the water faucet off, and I was suddenly dying of thirst in the desert. 

I knew he was still with me.

I knew that his love for me was still present.

I just couldn’t see it quite the way I could before.

I didn’t feel like myself.

I felt like a hella hot mess. 

Things were physically being stripped from me, left and right. 

Love and joy were things I had to chose and fight for, daily. Hourly.

I didn’t understand anything that was going on with me.

I was on a major struggle roller coaster. 

Then, a few nights ago I had this intense dream.

It was set back in old Roman times, and I watched it all unfold before me.

A husband came to his wife, and told her that she was to be crucified. CRUCIFIED.

She fully submitted, without question, and followed him. Followed him to her death.

I awoke troubled. I knew that this dream was something spiritual, as the Lord often speaks to me through my dreams of the night. But what it meant, I wasn’t quite sure. 

Later the following day, I had the privilege of helping lead worship for a group of young people about to be sent out to the nations on three month long mission trips. It was during worship that the Lord downloaded some throne room perceptive to me on my crazy dream. 

There are things that I need to die to.

I need to die to myself, and give up my control to the Holy Spirit.

Again.

Deeper then ever before this time.

This was an answer to my prayers of wanting more of him, prayers of wanting to go deeper. It was a beautiful representation, of a husband and wife relationship, the love and intimacy that is present. The leadership and head of a husband, and the way Jesus leads me. The way of a wife, and how he has called us to submit to him.

Its a painful process.

It involves grieving, surrendering, losing control.

Honestly, I’m not fully there yet. 

But I want to be there.

And by his amazing grace, love and mercy, I will get there.

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me”. Galatians 2:20

The World Race!

The World Race

11 Months.

11 Countries.

September 2015.

I’M GOING ON THE WORLD RACE

The World Race is a 11 month mission trip, that journeys into 11 countries.

 I will live in tight community with other racers on my squad, as we get to do this crazy life with each other for eleven months. 

Ministry will look different in every county, as we do whatever is needed.

Ranging from construction, orphan care, teaching, evangelizing, prayer walking, door to door home visits, feeding the hungry, ministering to girls on the red light district, on and on it goes.

Overall, my ministry is to see the Kingdom of God come.

I launch in September, and I will be traveling to: Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, South Africa, Zimbabwe, Japan, Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam!!!!!

I need your SUPPORT!

None of this will be possible without YOU!

As far as support goes, you can help support me in at least 3 ways:

1.  First and most importantly you can Pray!  

     Pray for my finances that Father would supply them quickly so that I don't have to worry about it while on the mission field. You can also begin praying that Daddy would prepare me mentally, physically, and spiritually. That Kingdom will come, and hearts will know Jesus.

2.  Tell other people. Word of Mouth will be one of the biggest ways you can help share my story and what Father is about to do.

3.  Lastly you can support me Financially. I need to raise $16,267. If you feel like Father is leading you to support me financially, please pray about it first!  Ask Him what exactly He wants you to give and how. If you feel as though He has said given you the green light after praying, then PLEASE GIVE! Every single dollar and cent will add up, so please do this according to His obedience.

If you'd like to support me financially, you can click on the link below for one time donations: Donations for Brook

For monthly pledges please follow this link here: Monthly Donations for Brook

Lastly you can donate by mail: mail your tax-deductible contribution to:

Adventures In Missions
P.O. Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470

Be sure to indicate the purpose of your gift on your check:
For Brook Gelinas (Please include the world racer's full name)

The story of how the Lord called me to the Race coming soon!

p.s. Subscribe to my new world race blog at: www.brookgelinas.theworldrace.org

Arise, my love

Arise, my love.

I recently came across a quote, and it made me shutter inside.

“We live like zombies.

 We wake up,

 carry out habits,

and go to sleep.

Only to wake up

 and do it again.

You exist,

but do you feel alive?”.

“This isn’t right!” I wanted to scream. This is not how Abba has created us to live, walking around like zombies?  But when I took a step back, this is how the vast majority of us live. I look at our families, our city, our nation, and my heart breaks. We walk around this earth tired, hurting, broken. It’s as though we drift through this life asleep.

I look back at my own life, and remember. I remember the emptiness of boring, daily routines. I felt like it was slowly killing me. I could be around people all day, but still feel so alone. My days were filled with small talk. People at work asking “how are you?” as I passed them in the hallways. They never even stopped walking. 

I knew Jesus. I had a relationship with him. He kept calling me to go deeper with him, and I kindly put him in a box,  holding him at a comfortable length. Where I didn’t have to surrender anything, and I still held all of the control. I felt like I was in a season of waiting. Waiting for what? I didn’t really know. But I knew that there had to be more. I felt like one of the disney princesses, waiting around for my life to begin.

Then, I fell madly in love with Jesus. His love for me lead me to surrender, and from that surrender came freedom. Sweet, sweet freedom. 

He kissed my forehead and awakened my soul.

Now I am fully alive! I have daily adventures, just by being with him. I know exactly who I am. I grasp the royalty that I am, as His daughter. I live in freedom and grace. I glow with the radiance he gives. I shine under the delight he bestows upon me. I know the love he has for me. 

Then, this morning, I was reading one of my favorite passages of scripture. It comes from Isaiah 60 and it reads;

“Arise, shine, for your light has come,
    and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth
    and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
    and his glory appears over you.

Nations will come to your light,
    and kings to the brightness of your dawn…

 Then you will look and be radiant,
    your heart will throb and swell with joy.

Papa showed me something that I hadn’t paid any special attention to before. His first call is to arise. Wake up sleeper! It’s the gentle and loving kiss on your forehead from your daddy, as your all snuggled up in your own comforts. He’s calling you to get up! Get out of this zombie funk you’ve fallen into. 

Awaken your soul to His love. Awaken your spirit to live this life! Then, oh only then dear one will you shine. Because His light has come, its here! 

Can’t you hear him?

 “Arise, my love. It’s time to awaken, it’s time to live”.

    

21 great things things about being twenty-one.

21 great things things about being twenty-one.

Two days after turning twenty one, I was laying on my bedroom floor, dreaming with Jesus. He told me that this next year was going to be a crazy adventure. 

He did not disappoint. 

This year past year has been a crazy ride. From living in Africa, to moving to Georgia. I have fully stepped into myself, into who he has created me to be. I have been set free. I have overcome so many fears.

I have become the woman I have always dreamed of becoming.

It is all because of Jesus, and I will take that as one of the best birthday gifts I could ever ask for. But what are some of the awesome things that happened this year? I’ve narrowed it down to 21.

1. Bringing in the new year with friends, in the old streets of downtown Traverse City.  We froze our bootys off with the temperature hovering in the single digits. But it was worth every minute.  

2. Meeting Kenzie. My friend, my new sister, “my person”.

 It was only a day after meeting you at training camp, we hadn’t even said ten words to each other yet. But somehow I just knew you’d be as weird and as crazy as I am, and I told you so.

3. Waking up in Johannesburg, South Africa. The sun warmly drifted through the window, onto my face.  I slowly awoke, and smiled. I was in South Africa. This was a dream come true.

4. Living in Swaziland, Africa. It was like being on a honeymoon with Jesus, and it was all a dream come true. 

5. Getting picked up on the side of the road, and riding in the back of a pickup truck, flying down the highway (Swaziland).

Yes, it was crazy. Yes, we almost died. Yes, it was awesome. 

6. Seeing a giraffe in a field, as we casually drove past (Swaziland).  Apologies again to my teammates for my loud squeal of pure joy.  But seriously, it was so great.    

7. Holding those precious african children, as they fell asleep on me almost everyday (Swaziland). One of the best things ever.

8.  Worshiping under the vast blanket of African stars. You really can’t beat it…

9. Receiving approx. 100 marriage proposals. (Swaziland).

It was really rather awkward in the moment, but they make for good stories now!

10.  Playing in the waves of the indian Ocean, at St. Lucia beach (South Africa). That was one of the best days of my life. 

11. Living in community with my “Swazi family”. I had the most amazing teammates. Doing daily life with them, serving along side of them day after day. It was an amazing privilege.

12. Receiving my Swati name (Swaziland). My Swati name is Buhle, and it means “beauty”. Its pronounced kinda like “boo-jay” only, you kinda stick your tongue out when you say it.

13. That African safari through Kroger National Park (South Africa).  Elephants, Zebras, giraffes, Lions, oh my! 

14. Stepping off of that airplane, and being welcomed back home by an airport full of people that I love. 

You all sure do know how to make a girl feel loved.

15. Spending my summer in Northern Michigan.

Sun, lakes, small towns all along lake Michigan. There’s no place like home.

16. Visiting in Indiana. 

I had the privilege of staying with an amazing family in northern Indiana for a couple of weeks in July, and they spoiled the living day lights outta me. 

17. The road trip down to Georgia.

I got to travel down to my new house with my momma. It was fantastic.

18. Living on my own (Georgia).

Miss independent. Need I say more?

19. Doing life with my Georgia community.

These people are amazing, and I am so blessed to call them my friends. To be challenged, encouraged, and loved by them. 

20. All of the opportunities I get to lead worship (Georgia).

It is a pure honor to gather with other believers, leading them in praising our King.

21. Exploring the grand adventures of the future Abba has for me, daily.

My twenty first year was the best one yet, and I can’t wait to see what’s to come for my twenty second!

Thankful

Thankful

The cold wind hit my face hard, as I took a deep breath in. The air, crisp and clean. Big, chunky snow flakes fell softly from the sky, joining the heavy white blanket of snow that already covered the ground beneath my feet.

I was home.

Suddenly it was like I had never left, and Georgia had never happened at all. But Georgia did happen, and now? I have two places I call home. My season here is so unbelievably good, that sometimes it still feels like a dream. Sometimes I still can’t believe that I get to do life like this.

 Last week, I broke down and started crying, simply because of the Lords goodness. He’s crazy faithful, and I just got so overwhelmed by Him. I got so lost in His love, as it covered me like a blanket. I was drowning in His affection over me, His delight. 

He has brought me so far to be in this place with him. He has pursued my wandering heart so fiercely, to bring me to be doing what I do. I used to be so fearful, wrapped in chains of anxiety. Then he brought me into His glorious freedom, and now I get to proclaim it to others.

Abba has lead me to living in the bush of Africa, and now he’s lead me to live in a cute little house in northern Georgia. He’s lead me to be a part of Center for Global Action. I rarely ever understand His plan when its still far off in the future, but he’s brought me to a place of being so in love with him that I have the trust to take the jump, fearlessly. 

But in all of this coming and going, the Lord has also blessed me with people who are willing to take the jump with me. Family, friends, and even complete strangers who say YES to papa, and make the sacrifice to give to my serving adventures. I couldn’t do it with you.

So, thank you. Thank you for saying yes. Thank you for your obedience. Thank you for supporting the Kingdom. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for your sacrifices, and faith. Thank you for your selflessness, thank you for loving me. I pray for an abundance of blessings for you, and your family, both now, and forever more.   

A look back: Center for Global Actions. (first semester)

A look back: Center for Global Actions. 

(first semester)

It’s seven days until Christmas. Tomorrow morning, I hop on a plane to take me nine hundred miles north. Today, I finish up on my work projects, say countless goodbyes, and praise the Lord for all of the amazing things that have taken place over the past four months here. Today wraps up my first semester at Center for Global Action (CGA).

My time here has flown by! It’s been rewarding, hard, painful, and some of the best times of my life. I’ve grown in more ways then I can count. I am pressed with new challenges daily to help me grow, and I welcome them, gladly. I live in a community of like minded believers, who are on fire for the Kingdom. As iron sharpens iron, we sharpen each other.

I was honored to be a part of  Worship Track. We dove into the heart of worship, and what a lifestyle of worship looks like. I had four amazing leaders, who are full of inspiring wisdom, knowledge and freedom. Through this course, I gained deep insight to the power worship brings, and the ways it’s able to literally change atmospheres, cities and nations.

They caught wind of my singing, and ran with it. They took the time to pour into me, and challenge me in such loving and honoring ways.  I’ve had the honor of helping lead worship down at our cities square, in local churches, in Pennsylvania, for our all staff Monday morning worships, and lead two hour sets, at our twelve hour burns. Then I had the incredible privilege of leading at the first ever     Beauty for Ashes Retreat, for teen girls. 

 I completed my two classes of  “Dangerous Jesus” and “Calling”.  

With these, I had my mind blown weekly. The knowledge, wisdom, and power of the Holy Sprit that was present was insane. 

In Dangerous Jesus, I learned of the radical way Jesus calls us to live, and what that looks like for me. I was challenged, pushed out of my comfort zone, and poured into. I learned what biblical discipleship looks like, and how to go out and disciple others myself, among so many other things. In Calling, I was given the tools to look back and dive into what the Lord has already put in place for my calling, that I was totally unaware of. I was coached and encouraged, and at the end of it all, I can confidently say that I know what the Lord’s calling on my life is.

I have worked in the department of “Short Term Missions” (STM) at Adventures in Missions. I have learned first hand all of the work that go into sending thousands of missionaries onto the field. I’ve gained real life skills, and grown in networking with other missionaries, and I get to influence thousands of people (literally) through my work with our social media marketing.

This season has been the start of my life in full time ministry, and I am so overjoyed that the Lord chooses to use me. My relationship with the Lord these past four months has been incredible. He’s leading me into a deeper intimacy with him, teaching me obedience, and showing me that no matter whats going on around me, all I need is to keep my eyes on Him. 

It’s a humbling thing to be 100% support raised. It’s humbling knowing that I’m paying for groceries with money that the Lord has provided for me, through my amazing supporters. It brings about full dependence on Jesus, and a deeper faith then I could have ever imagined. But I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without those who support me, from what the Lord chooses to do through you. So, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for your investments in eternal things. Because of you, the Kingdom of the living God is advancing. I truly think of you all as a part of this ministry team, and together, we are claiming souls, and taking territory for the Kingdom.

His Kingdom come, His will be done.

On earth as it is in heaven.

Merry Christmas, and an abundance of blessings to you and your families!

Much love,

-Brookie

I am only $3,200 dollars away from being fully funded! If you would like to donate to Adventures in Missions, on my behalf, check out all the ways you can give here: http://brookgelinas.blogspot.com/p/support-me.html

Why getting married isn’t enough for me.

Why getting married isn’t enough for me.

I grew up with the dream of getting married, having babies and being a mom. I mean, my mom and my grandma married young, so I just assumed the same would happen for me. I thought that my calling in life was to be a wife and a mother. 

But when high school graduation rolled around, no perspective husbands were lurking about, and I failed to find any college majors in “mommy hood”.  

Since then, and I’ve grown in more ways then I could ever count, and I've learned a few things about myself. 

 It’s not enough for me in life to just be married.

Let me explain.

I believe that marriage and motherhood is the most beautiful and precious thing. I believe that it’s the Lords design, and it’s something I still want and desire. 

But thats not my life calling. 

This is my life calling:

“Inspiring and leading others into a life of intimacy

   with the Father where they will discover their 

         full potential, freedom, and adventure”.

My life’s calling is so much bigger then what I had deemed it to be. It’s about bringing His kingdom to earth, its about proclaiming His love, His freedom, His life, and who He says that we are! It is this calling that covers every aspect of my life. In singleness, in marriage, in motherhood. 

Marriage is such a temporary thing for here in this life.  As John Piper says

“Marriage is meant (marriage exists) to display the covenant between Christ and his church”. 

Yes, I still dream of being married. But I have bigger dreams for my life then to be married, just for the sake of being married. I dream of being a husband and wife team, on fire for the Lord together. Being as one mind and soul, doing crazy, radical things for His Kingdom here on earth.

But there are ways I can better display this convent as a single woman now, then a married woman ever could. for example;

“She will bear witness that relationships in Christ are more permanent and precious then relationships in families. If she can leave her family without bitterness and regret, and build into the family of  God and build into His kingdom, then she will find treasures better then she ever dreamed of and flower her womanhood in such amazing and unique ways beyond anything you've ever imagined. She also bears witness to the truth that marriage is temporary, and finally gives way in the end to the relationship that it was pointing to all along.” (My notes taken from the podcast “the ultimate meaning of true womanhood -John Piper).

 Marriage is not the main thing.

 It's momentary. 

Jesus Christ is forever.

Today, I prayed for healing.

Today, I prayed for healing.

Today, I sat in my dangerous Jesus class, and I felt my heart begin to beat a little faster. Our teacher announced that we were being “sent out”.

A short time later, I found myself crammed into a small car with four other girls. Our assignment was to find someone who needed healing, and then proclaim healing over them in the name of Jesus.

I knew at that moment I had two choices.

 I could either revert back to the old habits of my flesh, allowing the chains of anxiety to overtake me. I could get away with hiding in the back, and let everyone else do the talking. I could stand frozen, letting fear control me.

Or, I could fully live out my freedom in Christ, rejecting anything but courage and boldness to spring up in me. 

I took a deep breath, feeling the power of the Holy Spirit within me, and I made a conscious decision to go with my freedom, relying upon the Lord for guidance, grace and courage. 

We ended up going to the home of a sweet older gentlemen, who has been experiencing numbness in his legs to the point of having to use a wheelchair most of the time. A result of his open heart surgery the year prior. 

We laid hands on his legs and prayed for healing.

Then we just continued to get to know him, learning about his late wife and his family. As the time drew near for us to leave we laid hands on his legs again, proclaiming full healing over him.

It wasn’t a miraculous moment. Complete and full healing didn’t come right away. But something in that room had changed, and he told us that his legs felt better! He stood up, walked around, and told us they felt better then before!

We left him with plans of visiting again. As I leaned down to hug goodbye this lonely old man, in blue overalls, and a cap on his head. He embraced me in his arms just as though I were his very granddaughter. I felt his joy, that someone would care enough about him to stop by. I felt a little loneliness leave his heart. I felt a new healing taking place in his body and soul. And all we did was spend thirty minutes with him. 

It hit me slowly, all of the times I’ve held back in fear. All of the times I miss the opportunity to show Jesus to those around me. All of the people who needed healing around me, and I selfishly kept to myself.

We have it! We have what this world needs. We know the Healer, we know the lover of their souls. We have the answer to everything this world is longing for. We have Jesus.

I want times like the one I had today to become my new normal. I want to love others so recklessly that I forget what is socially acceptable. Where I don’t even notice the awkwardness of it all anymore.

 I want to care so much for others that its not a competition against the selfish thoughts running through my head to go beyond just me and place myself in positions where the Lord has to come through. Because this life is short, and I carry within me what they need.

They need Jesus.

 I know Jesus.

 And that is the beginning of everything.